“Time is
Too Slow for those who Wait,
Too Swift for those who Fear,
Too Long for those who Grieve,
Too Short for those who Rejoice;
But for those who Love,
Time is Eternity.”
– Henry van Dyke, as written on a sundial
We’re still here.
There’s a hundred different ways one can interpret that phrase.
Despite having spent damn-near all of 2020 cooped up in the house, only going out to exercise or quickly shop for the bare essentials, I totally planned to have year-in-review piece at the end of it. Hell, that April was when I did my last belated year-end round-up, when people were hoarding guns and toilet paper like they were going out of style. We all optimistically expected this whole “lockdown” thing to be over by the end of that month; mid-May at most.
Then that exhausting year came and went with me thinking nothing of it – probably because the only difference between last year and this year was the date. Still, I figured I’d do one this year when saw other lists that were looking back over belated 2020 material.
But can you even remember as far back as 2020 at this point?
I’ve had this piece waiting as a draft for so long that I’ve got notes about “murder-hornets” and “Godzilla wasps” being my choice for Time magazine’s Person of the Year. Something called “Quibi” vanished as quickly as it appeared, with its creator blaming the pandemic (‘cause yeah, people in lockdown don’t want to use streaming services, right?). I see that I and my fellow citizens briefly got something called “stimulus checks” which were barely a drop in the proverbial bucket; that Sony fucked up the PS5 rollout; that Ellen Degeneres and JK Rowling’s careers imploded like Vegas casinos; and both the WWE and the Ayn Rand Institute got tax-payer COVID money because they were both regarded as “essential businesses”.
Also, the Loch Ness monster came back and Skype is now called “Zoom” or something?
I see that Orangie had fucking mailboxes destroyed in order to subvert democracy… and he still lost!!!
I see there was once a time when people applauded EMTs for fighting COVID first-hand. I see that we lost John Lewis, Chadwick Boseman, and RBG. I see the name Breonna Taylor. I see the state of California on fire, remember waking up to a red sky, and everyone learning the website PurpleAir.
So, what happened in 2021? Well…
- MAGAsshole terrorists killed people at the nation’s capital, then the MyPillow moron went unhinged trying to defend them
- Alec Baldwin killed someone (accidentally)
- terrorist Kyle Rittenhouse killed two people (intentionally)
- the corrupt outgoing administration was replaced by a new presidential administration has done things that remind me of a certain film quote
- Facebook tried (and failed) to promote a stupid name-change they thought would drown out the testimony of Frances Haugen (FB even lied to snowflake Republicans and said that Haugen was a “trying to help the Democrats”)
- rich assholes flew into space as the poor got poorer
- the mother of all ice-shelfs broke off
- we got so many vaccines so quickly that medical scientists were like, “Hey, I bet we could do the same for HIV after 40+ years of doin’ nothin’ at all!”
- well-off people refused to take the vaccines as poor people were just denied them outright, so we got new variants to extend this unending pandemic.
- Eric Clapton and Van Morrison seemed to want us all to get COVID at concerts
- Travis Scott and Live Nation’s absentmindedness led to one of the worst concert tragedies since Altamont or Woodstock ’99.
- Justin Timberlake got rightfully dragged whilst Drake stayed terrible and continued to thrive.
- And the CDC, which should have (and traditionally has) erred on the side of scrutinized science, decided to shorten the COVID isolation period from 10 days to 5… because a greedy CEO told them to, one who runs a company that shares a name with a COVID variant
- rapist Julian Assange might finally be extradited to face the justice he’s been evading for over a decade
Between all that, I myself have been writing. A lot. If fact, for a guy that can’t seem to get hired full-time, I’ve spent the past two years being published in nearly every Bay Area news outlet. I even wound up writing one of the final cover stories for SF Weekly. I’ve done taxes, watched family members have serious medical episodes, got myself vaxxed, got myself boosted, acted on stage for the first time in forever, acted in a zombie flick, mourned the loss of Lucky 13, haven’t been inside a cinema or restaurant for nearly two years, and am within spitting distance of having a full-time job (a distance I’ve been before, only for it to not pan out).
Also, I turned 40.
Not gonna lie: it sucks to be at a point where the only apparent different between years is the number on the calendar. There’s something Waiting for Godot-esque about the state in which we all find ourselves, yet Vladimir and Estragon had the choice to leave but didn’t take it; the rest of us don’t have that choice so much. And with current infection rates higher than they’ve ever been, what is there to be optimistic about? What do we even know about the future?
Here’s what I know: we’re still here.
That may seem like nothing, especially since the very leaders responsible for our protection are the ones putting us back in harm’s way. That doesn’t change the fact that our resilience has paid off and will continue to do so. Not everyone is built for a long-term fight, but taking the appropriate steps (vaxxing, boosting, distancing, masking, cleaning) will better guarantee you survive to see the end. You’re not crazy for being cautious.
As you do all of that, I hope you find a comfort zone within art and pop culture you love. That’s what I spent the past two years doing when I wasn’t out there marching and fighting for my and everyone else’s right to live as they will.
Here’s how it all turned out (no books because, sadly, I haven’t read a new one since 2019):
World Stuff
Person of the Year(s)
Breonna Taylor.
After wiling away hours as a frontline worker fighting COVID, she became the victim of killer cops who were too stupid to check the address on their “no-knock” warrant. She is, was, and always will be a hero.
WORST NEW TREND
Anti-vaxxing and -masking
Fuck you conspiracy theory shitheads for extending this pandemic two-years-and-counting.
Dishonable mentions:
1 – All the George Floyd virtue-signalling that has now all-but-vanished.
I got my first vaccine dose as Floyd’s killer got convicted. Not just on the day, I mean right as it was happening. It had been a year of black squares and “We hear you” promises that guaranteed change. Months later, those same black square-posters are RT’ing viral videos of flash mob robberies and giving commentary one would expect from Steve Bannon. Some things never change.
2 – MAGAssholes in plain sight facing few (if any) consequences.
Yeah, some of them are facing trial, but Republicans (the ones in the very building the rioters tried to violently breach) are trying to make sure they never face justice.
BEST NEW TREND
The Great Resignation
As billion- and trillionaires fly to space with their ill-gotten pandemic gains, their workers said “enough” when they were forced to work in virus-ridden offices and factories for pennies. To the surprise of no one, they pushed back. Hard. I write this as someone who desperately needs a full-time job (and insurance) as much as anyone, but I won’t sacrifice my safety and dignity. Neither should you.
Honorable Mention:
Marginalized people will NOT shut the fuck up.
The same white “allies” who claimed to support us – and maybe even marched with us – are wondering why we’re angry at the pushback against critical race theory. Fighting for equality is not seeking out “special treatment”. We’re gonna tell you that each and every time we can… which is always.
New focus on mental health
In 2022, a new California law will require mental health to be taught in local elementary and higher schools, so as to help students and staff recognize the signs. When Olympic athletes are ducking out because of the strain, they deserve to be applauded for it.
WORST FAMOUS PERSON
Mark Zuckerberg
This is the category I most struggled with, but ultimately, the choice was clear.
You know why.
Dishonorable mentions:
1 – Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos.
You know why.
2 – JK Rowling and DaBaby
You know exactly the fuck why.
3 – Drake:
Best Celeb Surprise
Justin Timberlake finally being raked over the coals for two decades of racism and misogyny
He could (nay, should) have been punished more, but I’m lovin’ the new black eye to his reputation.
BEST NEW TERM
“ACAB: All Cops are Bastards”
Learn it. Live it. Love it. Fuck your thin blue line.
CELEBRITIES WHOSE DEATHS MOST AFFECTED ME
Melvin van Peebles and bell hooks
These were heroes of mine. These both hurt. A lot.
Local (Bay Area)
BEST SF TREND
Outdoor parklets
I haven’t eaten inside a restaurant in two years, but chowed down at many-a-cozy parklet.
Honorable mention – The outdoor art
Ours is a city of murals; they didn’t stop for the pandemic. Every splash of paint on a boarded up business window is a signal as to who really bring The City alive.
WORST SF TREND
More cops on the streets
I got (and am still getting) a lotta right-wing hate mail for my Chronicle piece explaining why “more cops” never works. Ever.
Dishonorable mention – People still supporting Borderlands Books (Valencia) and Hot Cookie (The Castro)
I’d be remiss not to issue a Trigger Warning first, but here’s what happened with Borderlands-owner/libertarian shit-head Alan Beatts (who still runs the place, but never wears a mask when I walk by) and here’s what happened with Hot Cookie. They don’t deserve my money or yours.
BEST NEWS OUTLET
Violet Blue’s (free) Patreon posts
As with her pre-pandemic CyberSecurity Round-ups (which still run every Tuesday), her weekly Pandemic Round-Ups are the one and only place to get consistently-great COVID news aggregation, cutting through the bullshit and giving us the info we all need – better than listening to Monica Gandhi’s “everything is fine” mishegas. Take a look, then join me as a paying patron.
WORST SF RESIDENT
Mayor London Breed
She is just the worst.
BEST SF RESIDENT(s)
The homeless
You heard me.
The very people being targeted by Breed or her rich friends are the ones who truly define The City. They deserve to be respected and given the homes, food, clothing, and resources they rightfully deserve.
Period.
Music
FAVORITE SONG
“Industry Baby” – Lil Nas X, featuring Jack Harlow
I know all the critics loved “Montero” and I agree that the video for that one was great, but this song has been my personal happy place for the entirety of 2021. I didn’t love any other piece of music this year the way I loved this operatic, horn-laden exercise in bass-heavy excess and not-so-humble-brag lyrics. And yes, it’s a super-queer video.
I love this song and video so much that I actually wanted to dress as Nas X in this video for Hallowe’en. Unfortunately, I don’t have the medical credentials to get official scrubs, and by the time I learned he was selling the costume through his official store, it wouldn’t have arrived in time for Hallowe’en.
Nevertheless, I’m still bumpin’ this track at year’s end.
Honorable Mentions
1 – “Life of the Party” – Kanye West, featuring Andre 3000
Since 2016, Kanye has been breaking my heart and 2021 was no exception. That doesn’t change the fact that he can still make music that will break my heart just as viscerally. Despite two (official) versions of Donda, I don’t have the tracks with DaBaby or Chris Brown, but I sure as hell got this killer ballad that makes me miss every day Andre 3000 isn’t putting out new music. (Listen below)
2 – “Keep Surviving” – Kat Robichaud
I interviewed the queen of Misfit Cabaret last year to promote her Xmas album (which I spent the past month listening to on repeat). Falling down the rabbit hole of her talents has been fun. When she released a new EP this year (well… two new EPs, but one is just the same with an additional track), it was this emotionally cathartic track that shook me. If you’re looking for an excuse to get mushy from a great set of pipes, just listen to this.
BEST OLD-SCHOOL ALBUM(s) I BOUGHT
(tie) Profundo Rosso soundtrack by Goblin and Curtis by Curtis Mayfield
I didn’t buy a lot of new music these past two years, but I loved being able to step back into Amoeba and get some classic stuff. My favorite Argento film is Profundo Rosso (Deep Red) and all of his musical collabs with the band Goblin gave his best films their trippy atmosphere. Picking up the mid-2000s digital remaster of the soundtrack, with additional live tracks, made for perfect listening for both Hallowe’en as well as walking through a city where rich ghouls refuse to wear masks.
It’s a trip to look back over the late Curtis Mayfield’s career and see his influence clearly through hindsight. What stands out about his debut album, Curtis, is that it’s the work of someone who sounds like they have something to prove. He knew he wasn’t Marvin Gaye, Sam Cooke, or even Chuck Berry. He was someone who wanted to shout to the heavens as if the sun wouldn’t shine the next day – and all he has to help him is his six-string axe. From the manic energy of “(Don’t Worry) If There’s Hell Below, We’re all Gonna Go” to the playfulness of “Give it Up”, the album is so much more than the smooth greatness of “The Makings of You”. And that’s a great thing.
BEST LIVE MUSIC EXPERIENCE
Anything and everything at the DNA Lounge
From being on hand for the inaugural StarCrash to them being my first place back in a live venue with the Juneteenth Hubba Hubba to the super-duper fun of Cyberdelia, the Lounge was the only performance venue in The City where I felt 100% safe at all times and could just lose myself in the show.
BEST NEW TRACK BY A BAY AREA MUSICIAN
“Tripwire” – Sophia Prise
I’ve known trained mezzo Sophia personally since 2008. I went to the first StarCrash because she was on the line-up, went to the one she headlined this past September, and have all her albums & EPs. So, it was inevitable that I’d buy a new track from her. But it was weeks after first purchasing the song in August when it really hit me. I was walked the streets of SF (double-masked) and wanted to hear something “space-y” to go with the night atmosphere (like with “UR PRFCT”). It was only then when the lyrics truly clicked with me, as if a switch had been flipped and I couldn’t escape the song’s tale of relationship post-mortem. It’s been long-since-proven that someone who says “EDM has no emotion” is someone willfully ignorant. Sophia’s song is further proof of that.
Honorable mention – “Keep Surviving” by Kat Robichaud
For all the same reasons I mentioned above and for many of the same reasons I loved Sophia’s track.
NEW ALBUM I SHOULD’VE BOUGHT ALREADY
Halsey – If I Can’t have Love, I Want Power
I’ve been diggin’ her since I first heard “Bad at Love” a few years back, and their refusal to deny her Black parentage is commendable… then she made an album with Trent Reznor, whose music has defined a great deal of my life. How did I not buy this album yet?
Honorable mentions
1 – Call Me if You Get Lost – Tyler, the Creator
Tyler is one of the best post-Kanye examples of experimental hip-hoppers. He may not lean into his provocative lyrics as he did back in his Goblin days, but he continues to make music out of “noise” in the best way possible. I need to pick this one up soon.
2 – After Hours – The Weeknd
Because Abel has yet to disappoint me, so I doubt he would here.
3 – Montero – Lil Nas X
How do I not have the album that has my favorite track of the year?
BEST NEW ALBUM I ACTUALLY DID BUY
Donda – Kanye West
What do you want me to say, folks?
By now it should be clear that I didn’t do a lot of musical shopping these past two years and I prefer CDs (both for sound quality and the ability to easily rip them – unless the digital alubm is in officially-made FLAC files), so I tend to pick up new stuff from musicians I already know, even the ones who infuriate me beyond all measure. Unlike the trolls of the world, I get no pleasure from watching Kanye self-sabotage as mental illness frequently overtakes him (if you find Kanye’s condition funny, fuck you).
This album is a beautiful mess: too fuckin’ long; frequently rambly; and I just refused to even buy certain tracks because they feature truly horrible people on them. And yet, it still does what the best of Kanye’s work does: pull the best out of his collaborators (there are some hot verses on this, y’all) and expose every listener to his overwhelming id, which is a welcome relief compared to the fine-crafted artifice of his peers (or even mentor Jay-Z). This album pisses me off as much as it chokes me up, so how could I not mention it by year’s end?
Theatre Productions and Art Installations
BEST LIVE SHOW BEFORE LOCKDOWN
Killing My Lobster – Y2K
I had no idea this funny show would be one of my last times in a theatre, nor that cast member Nicole Odell and stage manager Emma McCool would take the reins of the company the following year. But hear we all are. I recently wrote an article about the company for the SF Standard and saw their unofficial show at PianoFight weeks ago. If they can keep up this standard in their new iteration, we’ll all be the beneficiaries.
WORST THEATRE TREND
Not taking COVID protocols seriously
As a professional critic, I feel like the majority of my reviews were more about this than the actual work I was there to see. I was there in the crowd when London Breed openly mocked us for taking seriously the protocols she signed off on; I was there amongst the rich assholes who bastardized Banksy’s work whilst the security guards wore no masks at all; I went to the SF Ballet’s packed re-opening only to be placed in front of a non-masker who literally breathed down my neck. And don’t even get me fuckin’ started on SF Playhouse…
Y’know what really pisses me off about all the above? The fact that every one of those places – along with ACT, Berkeley Rep, and 42nd St. Moon (whose show I walked out of because it was packed and folks were unmasked) – are all the big-name theatres with annual funding in the multi-millions. None of those are independent black box theatres, those are all places where people get dressed up to go out. The fact that these folks did all the above (as well as simply hand-waving in photos of vax cards) is inexcusable and irresponsible.
Much love to (small, indie) venues and troupes that did take protocols seriously, like Crowded Fire, Shotgun (eventually), Aurora (they could have limited seats more), and NCTC. If and when shows get up and running again in ’22, the bigger houses better take this year’s lessons to heart. On a similar note…
BEST covid-SAFE LIVE VENUE
The DNA Lounge
Yeah, I mentioned already in the “Music” section – so what? This was the only place (maybe in the world) to do COVID checks the right way. Bless jwz and The Lounge for going above ‘n beyond with pandemic safety, as it made every twirled tassle at Hubba Hubba all the more enjoyable. Hell, if mainstream cinemas were as safe as the Lounge was for Cyberdelia, I’d be more caught up with this year’s movies!
BEST VIRTUAL THEATRE EXPERIENCE
Christopher Chen’s Communion world premiere with ACT
You know how when you’re an adult you tell yourself you could never be fooled by a magic trick; that you’d see the sleight-of-hand that a child would miss? That’s the sort of hubris playwright Christopher Chen, director Pam McKinnon, and actor Stacy Ross were hoping for. They wanted to lull you into a false sense of security in order to pull the rug right from under you – over Zoom. Not only that, they explain the art of the confidence game the entire time, making the audience the sort of mouse who has its own trap explained to them.
And even if you don’t make it to the WTF?! ending, you’re still caught up in a play about trying to find that basic joy of human interaction in world of people separated by a worldwide pandemic. It’s a story about survival instincts and the broad definition of “service” in a greedy, capitalist society. It’s one of the truly great works of theatrical art in the digital age of COVID and I’m glad to have been part of it.
I have no idea if the show will ever perform again (or how they’d even do it), but we audience members will never forget that Zoom session. It was an excellent use of new media to remind the audience of what a true bait-and-switch looks like.
Honorable mentions:
1 – SF Ballet’s VR stream Nutcracker Online.
They spent a lot to bring the War Memorial Opera House to people’s homes (even those without headsets) and every cent was there to be seen. It’s the sort of thing that, barring cost, I wonder why other theatres and venues don’t adopt it? The only thing that would’ve made it better is if they’d expanded on it the virtual environment and made it easier to explore more of the virtual Opera House.
2 – All virtual shows by Cutting Ball
As 2020 was, unfortunately, the year of the Zoom play, one would think that troupes would have ironed out the wrinkles by 2021. Such was rarely the case. Reading the writing on the wall, experimental troupe Cutting Ball blurred the line between “film” and “play” in a way that was frequently hypnotic and almost always fun to watch. Like Communion, it showed that a little creativity wins out over a lavish budget every time. Hats off to Ariel Craft and her ensembles.
3 – KML and Awesome Theatre
Because being in the sort of online audience chats were heckling was encouraged was a fine way to maintain my sanity.
4 – SF Neo-Futurists
I had no idea how they were going to incorporate their “Choose Your Own Adventure”-style format into the digital arena, but damned if their interactive app didn’t make a good attempt. Having interviewed them this past year, I was skeptical that even they could pull it off and pretty impressed with how they did. I’m just sorry I didn’t hear the phone project)
BEST LIVE EXPERIENCE WORTH BRAVING covid
The Immortal Reckoning
Having been a fan of Peaches Christ since the days of the late, great Bridge cinema, I can only list money as the reason I never saw this show before. Thankfully, being a critic fixes that with free admission. As the review above states, I didn’t know how “up close ‘n personal” the show would be, but I’m glad they took COVID protocols 100% seriously. This homoerotic horror tour was the perfect seasonal catharsis for someone who saw “hot vax summer” never happen. I hope for the day when I can see it in a mask that’s only stylish, not a medical necessity.
Honorable mention
Cyberdelia 2021 at the DNA Lounge (also Hubba Hubba Revue shows)
I could seriously go on all day about these, so just go look at my photos.
WORST THEATRE SHOW
[hieroglyph] world premiere at SF Playhouse
It’s one thing for white people to make a play that (intentionally or not) reduces Black people to absurd stereotypes, it’s another for Black people to do it themselves. I wrote the above review mere minutes after the virtual premiere, pounding the keys in a rage. {hieroglyph] is what happens when a bunch of talented people don’t look (at the script) before they leap. It pissed me off to the point that I wanted to punch something.
It promotes the idea that Black men are inherently terrible and was (aside for lax COVID protocols) my worst theatre-related experience.
Dishonorable mention – Gloria West Coast premiere at ACT
He was there, y’know? Playwright Branden Jacobs-Jenkins, he was there at the ACT Strand for opening night. After the show, he approached me – possibly gravitating to the only other Black face in the crowd. He asked what I thought. I wanted to yell in his face and tell him that, like his other shitty work, this play was pretentious horseshit that thinks shock value is the same as plot development, that overly expository dialogue is not the same as world-building, and that his long-winded caricatures never become characters.
Instead, I just told him that I don’t talk about a piece before I’ve reviewed it properly. The review above explains most of what I hated. As for the “big spoiler”? Well… more on that below.
BEST HORROR-BASED THEATRE
Immortal Reckoning
For all the reasons I shared above.
Honorable mentions
1 – (tie) The Woman in Black at ACT Strand and The Displaced at Crowded Fire
The former took a classic story and added a delightfully meta element that increased the live discomfort in all the right ways – I just wish the venue took COVID protocols more seriously.
The latter is an interesting look at gentrification and legacy haunting from the point-of-view of millennials. It makes the most of its small budget and both venue and company kept the audience safe
2 – Holy Shit! That was Scary!, pt. 3: The Cloud by Awesome Theatre
Call me biased if you like, but I love being acquainted with bunch’a horror-film nerds who spend the better part of their days thinking of how to recreate all the scares we’ve seen on screen.
BEST SOLO SHOW
Communion world premiere at ACT
Just fantastic.
Honorable mentions
1 – The Cassandra Sessions at Shotgun
The story of a classic folk singer/activist resonates with the current zeitgeist. The story of not getting work finished resonates with any artist. And the story of a woman trapped in a box for most of the day resonates with, oh, everyone trying to keep away from COVID.
Not just a fine production, but Shotgun finally reduced capacity in the theatre (even though their hand-waving vax check still needs work).
2 – Manifesto by Rotimi Agbabiaka
Read that review and you’ll see why Rotimi never ceases to impress me.
WORST SHOW WHERE WE CRITICS WERE ASKED NOT TO GIVE SPOILERS
Gloria by Branden Jacobs-Jenkins at ACT
Gloria kills everybody. That’s it. That’s the act-one-ending plot detail we critics had to pinkie-swear not to give away. What starts as a badly-written play about office politics and the death of print media takes a just-as-bad turn into a melodrama about a woman who shoots up the office.
Why? Because Branden Jacobs-Jenkins has a Michael Bay-sense of story progression. Jacobs-Jenkins is an intelligent guy and a thorough researcher (contributed a lot of the Black history stuff to HBO’s Watchmen), but he’s a shitty dramatist and this was his worst piece yet.
BEST SHOW WHERE WE CRITICS WERE ASKED NOT TO GIVE SPOILERS
Communion world premiere at ACT
It’s funny: based on my review and quick description above, some of you reading this may have figured out the twist… or at least think you did. Since the play likely won’t retain it in any future iteration, I probably could give it away here without harming anything, but I loved this show too damn much to chance it. Let my tight lips (for now) be my comfort in knowing I was there (online) when it all went down.
I got conned and I’m glad for it.
MOST OVERRATED SHOW
Gatz at Berkeley Rep
Yawn.
BEST “QUIET” SHOW
Plot Points in Our Sexual Development West Coast premiere at New Conservatory
In roughly one hour, we’re given the intimate histories of a couple – a cis woman and trans man – whose levels of comfort with their own bodies has shaped their romantic relationship in ways they’re only now beginning to grapple with. Fine performances, realistic direction, subtle-but-effective light & sound work, and good use of a stage in the round.
If not for that one MAGAsshole in the audience (complete with red cap), it made for a perfect night of theatre.
BEST PERFORMER
Akaina Ghosh in Plot Points in Our Sexual Development at NCTC
I’ve directed them before, but all of their subsequent performances have shown that I barely made adequate use of their abundance of gifts. Whether or not I have another chance to try is irrelevant; I’m just glad to see their name on a cast listing because it means there’s some damn-good acting in store.
“BEST” ARTISTIC EXAMPLE OF HOW THE RICH HATE US
The Art of Banksy (Unauthorised)
This is what it looks like when an artist known for bitter pills has those pills processed and sold to/by the very corrupt rich fucks who most need the “medicine”.
BEST MUSICAL
The Cassandra Sessions at Shotgun
The most hilarious visualization of “mansplaining” comes in the form of an old Malvina Reynolds song – who knew?
Film
MOVIE EVERYONE LOVED, BUT I HATED
The Invisible Man
What the fuck, y’all?
No, seriously: what? The? Fuck?
In that review above, I give an itemized list of the flick’s biggest plot holes… of which there were many. This is a stupid movie made for stupid people, and I can’t believe that so many otherwise-intelligent folks I know have lauded it so much. Not even in a “so-bad-it’s-good” way – they seriously love it!
To each their own, but don’t ever tell me this flick is the high point of the art form or I will cut off all contact with you instantly.
BEST MOVIE(s) I SAW BEFORE LOCKDOWN
Birds of Prey and The Photograph
I still haven’t seen Wonder Woman 1984, nor am I in any rush to do so. The stupidly-named DCEU is so defined by its poor choices that the good ones are practically anomalous. The first Wonder Woman was, let’s be honest, just “okay”. But Birds of Prey is what happens when everything goes right… so of course it under-performed at the box office. Not enough Zack Snyder-slo-mo-nihilism, I guess?
Before The Photograph, the last Issa Rae flick I saw on the big screen left a lot to be desired. This one, by contrast, is a fine throwback flick doesn’t have to show off or try too hard to leave a lasting impression. A quiet romantic flick with people of my hue – why the hell is this still so rare in the mainstream?
WORST MOVIE
Coming 2 America
Fuck this movie.
It’s not just that it’s an inferior, straight-to-video-level-production-quality follow-up to the original, but it’s like someone was intentionally trying to ruin the original with the mere existence of this flick. The single redeeming quality to this flick is that it makes the first one seem even better than you remember.
(Dis)honorable Mentions
1 – Judas and the Black Messiah
In that review, I mention my family’s personal connection to the events depicted. Even if the flick didn’t get those details wrong (which it does), this attempt at selling a watered-down interpretation of Fred Hampton to the masses through tropes and cliches would still fail. Yes, Daniel Kaluuya is a great actor, but the script and directing choices all fall flat.
This should be a rebel yell, instead it’s one shade away from a Chick tract. Fuck this movie.
2 – Bliss
This is what Hollywood considers high-brow sci-fi these days? Jesus Christ, Salma Hayek needs to fire her agent.
3 – Profile
Stupid “journalist” does stupid things in the most stupid, unrealistic way imaginable. Tell me the real life story wasn’t nearly this dumb?
MOVIE I LOVED BUT NO ONE ELSE EVEN SAW
The Passing On
Death comes for us all, but funerals are surprisingly political. This revealing documentary about an independent, Black-owned funeral parlour trying to stay relevant in an increasingly corporate world is the perfect parallel for our times.
BEST FLICK I FINALLY CAUGHT UP ON
Promising Young Woman
Despite someone telling me about Bill Maher’s spoiler (why the fuck would you then tell me that?), this film still floored me. I now see what all the fuss was about. I mean… Damn!
BEST FESTIVAL FLICK(s)
Girl in Golden Gate Park and The Passing On
The first one is a fine reminder of why I love my hometown of San Francisco, even in the face of gentrification; the second is a documentary about preserving dignity after you’ve died. Great stuff from the SFIFF.
Honorable mention – I Blame Society
This would make for an interesting double-feature with Promising Young Woman. Just sayin’…
A COUPLE OF GOOD DOCUMENTARIES THAT AREN’T THE PASSING ON
Awesome Theatre’s Chinatown documentaries
Again, called me biased, but there’s a reason I wrote about Empress Yee and the Magical History of Chinatown in one of my Chronicle pieces. It inspired hope within me – hope for my city, hope for my colleagues, hope for the world at large.
As SF’s Chinatown, one of its oldest and most distinct cultural centers, faced the shadow of gentrification and the threat of anti-Asian violence, both of these documentaries shed a light on the tenacity that comes from surviving everything life throws at you. I’m not Chinese, but the stories resonated with me as strongly as any other I’ve seen in quite some time.
With both of them embedded on either side of this text, you can make your own day a little brighter by checking them both out when you have a couple of hours.
TV
WORST TV TREND
Pretending the pandemic didn’t happen or is just “over”
Since I avoided the Sex and the City movies (the show ended disappointingly), I have no interest in seeing its sequel series, the stupidly-named And Just Like That… As if that show needed any more bad buzz (misuse of Peloton, lead actor revealed as rapist, reports of poor writing in general), it also seems to have the characters declare – I shit you not – that the pandemic is “over“. They actually say that shit (so I read, anyway).
They’re not the only ones: the final season of Insecure skips over both the pandemic and the George Floyd murder; What We Do in the Shadows, featuring characters who’ve lived through multiple fucking plagues, outright ignores this one; and I don’t watch cops shows or medical dramas anymore, but the tv spots for them – even the ones that had masks for a hot minute – have phased them all out.
These are the very shows that should be addressing the pandemic and people’s struggles with it. When only Always Sunny has (kinda, sorta, not accurately) acknowledged that COVID is a thing that exists, it just highlights how badly everyone else has failed.
MOST PITIFUL EXCUSE OF BLAMING THE PANDEMIC FOR YOUR FAILURE – The Swift Death of Quibi
I didn’t mention this above, but I saw some Quibi material and it sucked. Katzenberg can blame the pandemic all he wants, but a shitty product is a shitty product..
BEST TV SHOW
Betty (HBO)
Get this: a realistic tv show about a diverse group of teen girls (played by actual teens) that’s about them being expressive – primarily through their shared love of skateboarding – without the show being exploitative. And the music sounds like music they’d actually listen to, just as the dialogue sounds like words you’d actually here modern teens say. AND… I hope you’re sitting down for this one – both George Floyd and the pandemic happened (the latter still happening) and the characters have to deal with it.
Crazy, right?! With all the other crap on HBO, this gem shines brightly.
Honorable mentions
1 – What We Do in the Shadows (FXX)
They didn’t acknowledge the pandemic, but this show continues to be so hilarious and intelligent that you can’t believe it!
2 – Schitt’s Creek (Canadian)
I was late-to-the-game on this one, only binging it all during Xmas weekend 2020, but it was just as funny and brilliant as everyone said.
3 – Euphoria (HBO)
This is what the American version of Skins should have been. No sign of masks in the Se.2 trailer or in the two interim films, but I hope the rest of the writing holds up. (And if anyone wants to ruin this for me by pointing out that Drake is an exec. producer, I’d advise you to look up the term “in name only”.)
BEST TV SURPRISE
Chucky, Se.1 (USA Network / SyFy)
I wasn’t as over-the-moon about this show as everyone else, but I gladly tuned in each and every week for the old and new characters, teen LGBTQ+ representation, and the way it genuinely felt they brought an old property into a new era without compromising the core of anyone’s character.
BIGGEST TV LETDOWN
The final season of Insecure
Call it “ending on a high” as much as you like, but the final two seasons seemed as if Issa Rae didn’t care anymore. I mean, what the fuck was Lawrence even still doing on the show? I predicted the way the show would end and I hate that I was right. It doesn’t represent what this show was at its best.
Add those poor choices to the LA-based show’s ignorance of George Floyd, the pandemic, and the Bay Area (I had the chance to be an extra for those ep.s, but didn’t wanna chance it, as I had yet to be vaxxed), then you have another example of an HBO show ending after its fire has long-since burnt out.
Dishonorable mention – Mom (CBS)
Same problem as Insecure. In fact, their final episodes are unnervingly similar in how they just skip over key even to show the passage of time. What was an intelligent sitcom about substance abuse lost its way when Anna Faris quit, refused to deal with addiction in the era of Zoom therapy, and probably should have ended one year earlier.
So… what lies ahead? Will I be forced to leave SF because I won’t go willingly? Violet’s recent tweet said it best:
I love the film Girl in Golden Gate Park because it proves something I’ve known all along: this city is worth fighting for, which means the whole world is worth fighting for. The things happening here are spreading elsewhere, so retreating elsewhere would only delay the inevitable. But when they see the power of when we fight back, even cowards like Musk run for cover with their tails between their legs.
I love that power. In the coming year, I will use even more of it. You have the power to take steps (vaxxing, boosting, masking, distancing) to keep yourself and everyone around you safe.
As a professional (ie. “paid”) arts critic, I have only a vague idea of what the coming year brings. I can’t imagine I’ll rush out to a crowded cinema anytime soon, but I hope live shows are careful and that my booster holds.
Hope to see y’all there.
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Categories: Art Exhibits, Creativity, Film, Journalism, Long-Form Essays, Music, Theatre, TV
The Thinking Man's Idiot (Charles Lewis III) 